urine trouble

[beast]

As the header is 'what pisses me off'...thought i'd just concentrate on the very important subject of 'piss' in particular.
How come...whenever you is out doin a bit of birding along a relatively quiet country lane...'nature calls'....so you look left n right to make sure no-ones about...then..as soon as you are in 'mid-flow'..[piss-wise]...some twonk happens by...? End result is you put yer 'end' away rapidly...[whilst cursing].. and manage to pee yourself....[feckin great...lets walk around the rest of the day with wet pants]....!

ps....related to 'piss'....let's talk vegetables....the humble 'leek'. Now these veggies really piss me off when they sell 'em by weight in yer grocers and they've got about ten yards of unusable 'green-bits' sticking from one end...the bastards.
I only mention this because [1] i'm bored [2] i was in me local grocers today and i told them to cut the friggin useless 'green-bits' off......i ain't paying for that shit....[i was polite about it tho...really]...!

Adios...regards...beastly bloke...

[azllama]

I very much appreciate the bird-finding opportunities presented by a traditional "lucky piss" in some likely looking bushes on a windswept headland in October.

[beast]

Whilst birding in rainforest...i find that taking a 'dump' can also be lucky....tis especially good for locating forest floor-dwelling skulky type species...[probably something to do with being closer to eye level when adopting the 'crouching [no.2] monkey' posture....

ps....'Azllam'....and speaking of pisses on windswept headlands...they are not always so lucky. Once, whilst on such a windswept place...[i think the hebrides]...i was in mid-flow and the swirling winds sucked my urine into a threatening vortex which seemed to spiral wildly out of control in front of my very concerned eyes...and eventually...the said liquid was tossed back in my direction....[this was not so lucky]...!